“Heal first.”

“There’s no greater feeling than being loved by a healed person.”

“Find you a healed lover.”

“Heal before you disturb my peace.”

It’s the bullshyt for me. Respectfully.

Can I tell you how much I loathe seeing posts like this? It sends the message that only the “healed” are worthy of happiness, love, and peace. Ya’ll know how I feel about social media and its whole fake love and happiness agenda.

Before I dive deep into the subject of healing, let me point out that social media is the biggest trap house, serving all types of fiends on a regular. See a meme, like a meme, repost a meme and think it’s the truest and most factual information I’ve ever read in my life…Aye! (Sidenote: If y’all didn’t read that in OJ Da Juiceman’s “Make the Trap Say Aye” chorus beat, stop reading now. You’re ruining my fun.)

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program: healing. Do you know how it is said that no two people are the same? That’s most definitely true with healing. Healing isn’t a one size fits all type of thing. Healing is an ongoing process in which the healing of different subjects may be repeated in different ways. Most people think that once they identify a problem, do the work, then it’s complete and you move on. IKYFL.

Let’s think of healing as writing a paper. Let’s say we sit down and start to write our paper. It’s the rough draft. As we begin to go over it, we start to notice some errors and inconsistencies in our paper. We go back and correct the things we found initially. After that’s done, we reread the paper and again find different errors and correct them. . We repeat this process of identifying and correcting until we are satisfied with the paper. After all that editing, we think that we are done and have a grade-A paper. Wrong! When we turn it into our professor, the find errors that we must correct and understand. We repeat this process until they are satisfied. Yay! We have the perfect paper. That is until we spend time with ourselves and grow, learn, and unlearn things that do not serve us any longer, our ideas, truths, beliefs, and experiences have changed. Somehow that grade A paper emerges and we again find errors, inaccuracies, and have a totally different perspective now. The process repeats itself.

That may be an odd way to describe healing yet it shows that healing is something that is ongoing. There are parts in us that we do not see until we are triggered that something isn’t right. Once we identify that thing, we start the work to understand why we are triggered, how it affects our inner and outer behaviors, as well as what outcome would benefit us the most. Sometimes that’s all it takes to rectify that one thing, other times we have to work on it piece by piece, often discovering other pieces to the piece.

We must understand that we are not one-dimensional beings. We multi-dimensional sponges with the ability to bury, hide, and forget any and everything until we are triggered. No one is ever healed no matter how well they carry it. That’s perfectly okay. We are NOT perfect beings. We are unique, rare, imperfect, multifaceted beings who are constantly uncovering, unpacking, releasing energy and trauma that was lost, forgotten, and hid. We are not healed. We will never be healed. What we are is learning, growing, and adapting.

Your journey is that of your own with detours, construction, mudslides, floods, and whatever else life throws at you. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel like you are less than extraordinary and deserving of everything with your name on it because you aren’t put together in a perfect package. Perfection is draining. Stay hydrated with the fact of knowing that your road may be unpaved with gravel and potholes but you have the power and tools to pave it safe enough to drive over and over again.