Yesterday, I was in an extremely happy mood and has been singing since I woke up. When I got to work, I turned on Spotify and played my “Time Capsule” playlist. As I’m sitting at my desk, jamming to songs like “Freek-A-Leek”, “Whisper Song”, and “Somebody’s Sleeping in my Bed”, Musiq Soulchild’s “Love” comes on. This is one of my favorite songs and really resonates with me right now. I’ve been feeling a little misunderstood when it comes to how I love, what it means to me, and how I show up in love. I’ve had some uncomfortable and a bit frustrating conversations with friends because like most, they think when my love isn’t being reciprocated, I should walk away from whatever isn’t showing up for me.

Today, I received a DM from a follower who wanted to know “How do we still give love with no expectations of getting back and still feel whole without being depleted?” My response was simple. We, as human beings, should understand that we are created as love, in love, and through love. Love is the absolute core of our being. I do not believe love is something that you can turn on and off or something that can be controlled because we are love.

We, first, should think about what love is and how it flows to and from us. Love shows up how it wants, when it wants, and attaches itself to whomever it wants. We cannot control who or what we love. With that being said, we cannot control who or what loves us back either. When we learn that love is fluid and cannot be defined or contained, we will understand that it flows through us effortlessly. We exude it with our energy. How a person receives it is not on you because they are operating from their own place of love. The key is to try to understand others and their love and how they receive and give it.

It’s also very important to set boundaries when it comes to expecting someone to love you back how you love or because you love them. Love is unconditional. There are no requirements to giving or receiving love. This is because we first need to love Self. When we love Self, there are no conditions to us giving ourselves all the love that we need. We do not tell us that “If you be kind to yourself, then I will love you more”. We simply love and give ourselves grace when we treat ourselves unkind.

Setting boundaries around love is also a way that we show and give ourselves love. When we’ve taken on too much energy that is not beneficial to our wellbeing, we step back and take time to love on ourselves. We establish boundaries to know when we need time to ourselves to replenish our love tanks. By doing that doesn’t mean we don’t love something or someone anymore, it simply means that we love ourselves to acknowledge when it’s time to love ourselves a little more than putting it out.

Sometimes you need to step away from something, but that doesn’t mean love is lost. Just like we need time to grow and flourish, so does love.

When we learn to love Self, our love tank will always be full. It’s the love and care of others that makes it overflow. Either way love still exists and we will still thrive in love.