Why Would I Stop? Pt. 3

Have you ever had an experience with a stranger that altered your life? Have you ever had someone tell you that The Divine was speaking to them and wanted them to relay a message to you? Have you ever held someone’s hand and felt energy pulsing through your hands? Well, I have. Allow me to tell you about my first encounter with Mrs. Barbara.

Back in 2007, my cousin was opening up her first hair salon and she wanted to get it blessed for success. My cousin told me we were going over her friend’s house for lunch and that this friend was going to bless the shop for her. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it because I didn’t know this person and wasn’t interested in any praying. I figured I’d just eat lunch and wait patiently to leave. I, for one, don’t pass up on free food.

We arrived at Mrs. Barbara’s house and she welcomed us in. She seemed like a nice lady as we chatted until lunch was ready. We sat around the table talking and eating. Nothing major. Just mostly my cousin and Mrs. Barbara talking about the shop and discussing their lives. I wasn’t invested in the conversation. I’m not usually vocal with strangers in close quarters.

We finish lunch and Mrs. Barbara says it’s time to pray. She leads my cousin and her daughter to the living room and I stay put. She says “You too, cousin. Come on in.” I tell her that I’m not too fond of participating in prayer circles. SN: I was in an anti-religion/Christianity/Anything to do with man’s god period. I wasn't feeling this whole situation. Mrs. Barbara insisted that I join the circle and stand next to her and hold her hand. Aggy x2.

So, Mrs. Barbara instructs us to hold hands and form a circle. I am holding Mrs. Barbara’s right hand with my left and my cousin, Mone’s left hand with my right. Mrs. Barbara is holding my cousin, Cafie’s right hand with her left. Mrs. Barbara starts to lead us in prayer. I’m standing there with my eyes open, watching everything that is going on. Mrs. Barbara starts to get into it and begins to speak in tongues. At this point, I’m watching Mrs. Barbara because I’ve heard of people speaking in tongues but I’ve never actually seen or heard it in person.

All of a sudden, Mrs. Barbara stops and looks directly at me and says “The Spirit is telling me to talk to you. I’m being told to relay a message to you.” I’m looking around like “Who is she talking to?” She starts asking me questions. Questions I don’t know how she would even know to ask. Questions about situations I was dealing with. Specific questions in which were private. I stood there in silence, not knowing what to say.

Mrs. Barbara continued speaking in tongues and praying. The more she prayed, the more I felt a tingle in my left hand. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. Honestly, I just thought my hand was starting to it from holding hers for so long since I have hyperhidrosis aka sweaty palms. She continued to pray and my hand continues to tingle. All of a sudden, she stopped and looked at me again. “You are not living in your purpose. You are meant to speak to the people”, she said, staring at me. “God has been trying to send you messages but you are not listening to the voice or the signs. Your voice is powerful and you need to use it to help others.”

At this point, I KNOW this woman is on some other stuff. Like, why was she saying these things to me? I didn’t know what to think or feel. Again, I just stood there. She said “The energy I am getting from you is so strong. Look at my hand. I am shaking because your energy has been pulsating through me as I’ve been receiving these messages.” She held her hands out and sure enough the hand that I had been holding was visibly shaking. Again, stunned. My cousins were looking at us all wide-eyed.

I can tell you this experience is nothing I had ever encountered before. When I think about certain events that stick out in my life, I often wondered about the “why’s”. I remember when I was in my early twenties, I had an experience where I felt like The Divine stepped in and spared my journey. I’m not sure if “spared” is the right term, but my life was def altered hugely.

I used to party a lot when I was in my twenties. Tuesday-Sunday, I was in someone’s club with my friends. On Sunday’s we would go to Strokers strip club and watch our friends dance. At the time, I was dating a dancer named Storm. We would always leave Strokers and either go to Phase 1 or her house. This particular night I was supposed to go to her house but something (a voice) told me to go home. I told her that I was going home and to call me when she got home and I may come over after I showered. I went home and fell asleep. I woke up to my phone ringing. I answered and she’s on the other end frantically crying, saying someone shot up the gas station she was at. She said she stopped to get gas and went inside to pay. When she pulled up, there was a vehicle with some young guys and they appeared to be arguing with someone else at another pump. Moments after she went inside the store, she said she heard gunshots. The guys in the vehicle had begun shooting around the parking lot. I got dressed and stayed on the phone with her until I got to her house.

The next morning, I found out that the young guys in the vehicle were all boys I grew up with and they had murdered a paper delivery guy after shooting up the gas station. I was floored. I kept thinking ” What if I had gone with her?”, ”Would I still be alive?” ” Would they have shot me?” A million things ran through my head and I just kept thinking about the voice.

Since then, that voice has spoken to me in various ways. It's lead me to use my voice to speak at women's shelters, to start my own inspirational morning message platform, go to school for counseling, to start this blog, write books, and help people along their journeys in life.

Following my passion to help others lead me to my purpose to address the people. I am forever grateful for the Divine not giving up on me when I fought against it tooth and nail. My purpose will always be bigger than my passion and it brings me so much joy in engineering lives. Why would I stop helping people see the love in the thunderstorm and watching their lives light up in love? I wouldn't trade this for anything.